Quest for great fatherhood

My mission is to be the best father to my children. Although I am far from the ideal, I know that I have to help myself grow to be one. I'm blessed to have a good father. Dad was very patient and really nurtured my interest in a lot of projects that involved constructing gadgets. He's an inspiration to me and that is why I want to be a better dad. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a bad father but sometimes raising 4 young children can make you go nuts. Many times my wife and I would find ourselves at our wits end in disciplining our children and cleaning up after their mess.

So in my quest to be a better father, I started reading books to help me understand my children better. One of the books I came across is "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. Dobson. It's interesting to learn about the nature of boys and why they do the crazy things they do. It also highlights their special need for fatherly attention. It's easy to come up with geeky projects to build with your kids but understanding how these bonding activities affect my relationship with my children is also important. I'm sure there are also good resources out there for raising daughters and will be digging into those resources soon.

Dads and video games

There's an interesting article in CNN today about fathers bonding with their kids while playing video games. The article basically says that video gaming with your kids can be legitimate bonding because it fosters communication and interaction. It also mentions Gamerdad.com a site that reviews video games by parents so you know what best games to buy for your kids.

To all "gamer dads" like me, happy fathers day ! :)

Faith vs Fatherhood

Last Sunday I had to bring my 3 kids to church by myself. Often, my wife and I would go to Mass at different times so that one can stay at home and watch the kids to allow us to focus more on praying rather than babysitting at the back of the church. But since my wife and eldest daughter were away on a trip, I had no choice.

I knew it was going to be an ordeal. We drove up to St. Marys of the Mills parish church and it was raining. I carried Rebecca, my 15 month old daughter, while the two boys walked behind me. We sat at the back left corner of the church and then my blood pressure started to rise. David, my 2 year old, wanted to go in and out of the pews, play with the kneeler, and argue with his 5 year old brother Nathan. Rebecca was getting fussy and Nathan wanted to sleep by putting his feet up on the pew with his head on my lap. I sat in desperation crying out to God "Lord, why does it have to be this hard? How can I focus on praying when I have to deal with my restless kids?"

My mind began to wander. I started to think why churches aren't generally fitted with kid-friendly outfits at the back so that parents like me can leave their small kids in a safe play area while I focus on the Mass. I was not the only parent there with small kids in tow. A family by the center pew had 2 kids with them and one was throwing a fit because he ran out of crayons for his coloring book. One kid was brought out to church by his mom when he started crying.

I was tempted to walk out in the middle of the Mass but instead did my best to pray. I pleaded to God for patience, and then more patience. I asked for the grace to endure. Somehow, God answered my prayer. One time, I glanced upon the image of St. Joseph at the far end of the room. Immediately I uttered a prayer of help to the patron saint of all Christian fathers. It must have worked because before I knew it, the Mass was over and we started making our way back to the van.

Later that day, Nathan told me that he wanted to decorate our house with things about God. A bit puzzled, I asked why he would want to do that. He replied "So that when my friends come over for a play date, they will know who God is."

I now realize that it takes faith to be a father and that fatherhood fosters faith.

Pokemon!

Last week, my wife and I received Nathan's pre-K report card and saw that he got pretty high marks. We were so proud of him and told him that whenever he gets high marks in school, we'll give him a prize. He was thrilled. Soon, he would always ask us when he would get his prize and so yesterday, I took a quick trip to Target and bought him, what I thought, something he would really like - Pokemon trading cards.

So I went home and when I finally told him that I had his prize, he was excited. When I showed it to him, he was thrilled and said "This is the best gift ever!". I know this won't be the last time he'd say this.

He's been watching Pokemon for a while and we'd done a few projects making Pokemon paper crafts so he was fascinated with the trading cards he received. I actually do not know how to play the game itself so we went to the Pokemon website and started watching the tutorials. At first I felt intimidated with having to learn all the rules but it turns out that the game is pretty simple. I also thought the game has some learning value to it as it involves making choices, matching cards, and doing simple math which I think are helpful skills kids can learn while having fun.

Perhaps I can now justify getting a Nintendo DS and this for Father's day.