Faith vs Fatherhood

Last Sunday I had to bring my 3 kids to church by myself. Often, my wife and I would go to Mass at different times so that one can stay at home and watch the kids to allow us to focus more on praying rather than babysitting at the back of the church. But since my wife and eldest daughter were away on a trip, I had no choice.

I knew it was going to be an ordeal. We drove up to St. Marys of the Mills parish church and it was raining. I carried Rebecca, my 15 month old daughter, while the two boys walked behind me. We sat at the back left corner of the church and then my blood pressure started to rise. David, my 2 year old, wanted to go in and out of the pews, play with the kneeler, and argue with his 5 year old brother Nathan. Rebecca was getting fussy and Nathan wanted to sleep by putting his feet up on the pew with his head on my lap. I sat in desperation crying out to God "Lord, why does it have to be this hard? How can I focus on praying when I have to deal with my restless kids?"

My mind began to wander. I started to think why churches aren't generally fitted with kid-friendly outfits at the back so that parents like me can leave their small kids in a safe play area while I focus on the Mass. I was not the only parent there with small kids in tow. A family by the center pew had 2 kids with them and one was throwing a fit because he ran out of crayons for his coloring book. One kid was brought out to church by his mom when he started crying.

I was tempted to walk out in the middle of the Mass but instead did my best to pray. I pleaded to God for patience, and then more patience. I asked for the grace to endure. Somehow, God answered my prayer. One time, I glanced upon the image of St. Joseph at the far end of the room. Immediately I uttered a prayer of help to the patron saint of all Christian fathers. It must have worked because before I knew it, the Mass was over and we started making our way back to the van.

Later that day, Nathan told me that he wanted to decorate our house with things about God. A bit puzzled, I asked why he would want to do that. He replied "So that when my friends come over for a play date, they will know who God is."

I now realize that it takes faith to be a father and that fatherhood fosters faith.